Goodbyes and eyeopeners.

First a sad goodbye to an old friend at the end of her life, and now my eyes and ears are wide open in chok of the behavior of one who is still very much alive.
Right now my feelings are racing up and down in a rollercoaster of chok and sorrow. Some people are just unbelievable.

This makes no sense, I know. But hey, who cares.... this is just a blog. ;o)

Monday soon.

Sunday night. The awful monday approaching fast. Yuck....

Good thing my mood has returned to something like normal. Dismal as it may sound. But then again, at least now I feel brave enough to call my doctor in the morning. I'm sure he is going to give me more pills. *sigh*. I hate pills. They keep me away from my life. But then again.... they also keep me from death. So I suppose I should be grateful. At some point. I will just have to be patient and bide my time. If I'm a good girl, maybe my life will get back on track some time in the future.

Testing, testing, one, two, three.....

First blog ever. Well well. Two of my rats scuttling over my keyboard and my belly full of wonderful roasted beef. Life is good.

But with the knowledge that in no more than 5 minutes I will fall back into my sorry state of depression, the goodness of life in this very instant is only a small comfort.

Too many things are happening in my life right now. And not the things I want to see happen. That's just unfair. But what have I done to deserve a little luck? I don't work hard for it, that's for sure. I try to make things happen with my mind alone, hoping that people won't demand too much of me. I make promises I can't keep, and I try time and time again to make everybody like me. Even people I myself really don't like that much. Why do I fight so hard for it? Especially when I know myself well enough to know that it will all come to nothing. It's just so damn hard.